Shadows Of A Nightmare
by letmysoullive
Summary: A few months after the sinking of Titanic, Rose finds herself alone and pregnant. She seeks help in the one person she wanted to forget. Cal. Will their unfortunate past consume them? Or can they seek even a bit of light in their darkness?
1. 1

**A/N: Hey everyone! So, I'm starting a new story! I have had this idea for a while, but I finally sat down and started to put pen to paper. Also, I was GREATLY inspired by dizzynetbook's story _Consolation Prize _to write this! I hope the idea isn't too copied...but there's a twist...you'll see...I'm gonna put a quick summary below. Hopefully y'all will like this! Enjoy! And please R&R! :) -Maggie**

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><p><strong>Summary: <strong>A few months after the sinking of _Titanic, _Rose finds herself alone and pregnant. She seeks help in the one person she wanted to forget. Cal. Will their unfortunate past consume them? Or can they seek even a bit of light in their darkness?

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><p><strong><em>Shadows Of A Nightmare<em>**

** 1. **

Standing in the pouring rain, Rose gaped at the large gates of the colossal mansion that stood before her. This place seemed so foreign to her- even though it had been her home, just months before. Months she so desperately wanted to forget. They had been the worst and in some sort of twisted way, also the best of her miserable life.

She longed to get inside from the downpour, but she was soaked already. She didn't budge for a few minutes. She just stood there. Dumbstruck. As if she was some little girl gazing up at a castle from a fairy tale. But it wasn't like that...If anything, the complete opposite...

Slowly, but surely, Rose finally reached out and opened the huge, metal figure...the only thing standing between her and her destiny...

She continued to make her way towards the house with shaking feet. Not shaking from the cold, but from fear.

Eventually, Rose reached the cold, stone front steps of the mansion. She knew that there was no turning back now. She had already come so far... But now was also the only chance she ould have to turn back...all she had to do was turn around and place one foot in front of the other...

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block out all of the voices in her buzzing mind- telling her to just decide.

And then she did.

She rang the doorbell.

And she knew then there was no backing out now.

When the huge door in front of her finally opened, the young maid standing there turned sheet white. As if she'd seen a ghost.

And in this case- she had.

Everyone believed Rose DeWitt Bukater to be dead.

And until this moment, she had been.

The maid stared at her with fear in her eyes. Rose's expression was blank, unfeeling. Just like it had been for the last few weeks. An infinity. She just needed to come here to do what she had to do.

She broke the uncomfortable silence by snapping sourly at the maid, 'I need to see Mr. Hockley immediately!"

The maid then seemed to spring alive and she stepped aside, while tripping on her own feet, to let Rose in from the storm.

Rose entered the large foyer, sighing deeply. Letting all the pain and memories from the past seep into her very bones, making her even more weary. The maid had vanished as quickly as she had come, and Rose, once again, felt small and alone.

She really had no clue how Cal would react to what she was going to say. He was a grenade. Always waiting for the right moment to explode and destroy everything in his way. She took another breath to ease her nerves and wondered to herself if she would make it out of this meeting alive.

xx

Cal stood behind one of the large, glass windows of his study, watching the rain outside pour down._ Perfect...same as my mood... _he thought to himself dryly, a small, amused smirk tugging at the corners of his perfectly shaped mouth while he took a sip from the brandy glass in his hand.

The last few months had been painful. Agonizing. And alcohol had become his best friend. It helped numb his mind from the truth. The painful truth that the red-haired beauty he had once given everything to had ripped out his heart and stepped on it. Oh, and the fact that she was dead.

Rose had been perfect. A dazzling sight of beauty. Her radiant, red curls, porcelain skin, and blue eyes had given her a look of innocence. But Cal had been a fool. A damned fool. He had believed he could love someone. That was a joke. A sick joke. His heart was cold. Unbeating . Just like it always had been.

He shook his head and chuckled. Then brought his hand up and downed the rest of his brandy in one shot, making his head buzz with that sweet, familiar numbness. It was bliss. He thought to himself bitterly, _This is the life... _He chuckled again. This time, darker.

He glanced at his reflection in the nearby mirror . He glared at the perfect face looking back at him. He hurled his brandy glass at the mirror; shattering both the glass and the mirror. He smirked darkly and he threw himself into his desk chair.

He was about to grab the brandy decanter and pour himself another glass of the amber poison when he heard the echo of a knock at his study door. He rolled his dark eyes stubly and boomed, "Come in!"

Soon, the door opened, and a maid entered that Cal didn't really recognize. He asked her in an annoyed voice, trying to keep his forming headache at bay, "What is it?!" The maid trembled and answered timidly, "There is someone to see you, sir..." Cal sighed and massaged his temples, reaching for a bottle of aspirin. He said, short-tempered, 'Well, show them in!" Then the maid hurried out of the room like a frightened rabbit.

Cal just sat back and groaned.

Soon, he saw a figure standing in the doorway... It was a woman...

And he swore he recognized those curls...

He sat up a bit straighter and strained his eyes.

_It couldn't be... _

He told himself he was hallucinating, that his headache and the brandy ha been getting to him...

But when he heard that voice that sounded like summer rain sweetly called is name, he knew it was no dream.

It was Rose. His Rose.

Back from the "dead".

He ran his eyes over her body. He noticed her worn dress. He thought to himself, _That's the same dress from... _He shook his head then, not letting himself remember such pain. He looked at her closer. Her once radiant hair had lost its sheen and shine, and it was now tangled and matted. Her porcelain skin was blemished and darker from the wear of the sun. And her blue eyes had lost their sparkle of life. _  
><em>

She wasn't the Rose that he had once known.

This Rose was nothing. Lifeless.

She had lost her fire. That fire of life that Cal had once so desired...It was now a pile of embers lying deep within her heart...

But it still amazed him she was here.

Breathing.

Alive.

_That bitch... _

He asked himself why he cared so much...she was just a filthy third-class whore...

They stared at eachother for awhile. Black eyes locked with blue. Doing nothing, just standing...one second passed...two...three... Silence. Painful and agonizing silence. Cal wanted to say something, but he couldn't find his voice...

Rose spoke instead, her voice was no longer crisp and sweet, but hoarse and tired. She muttered almost inaudibly before she collapsed to the ground,

"Cal...I'm preganant..."

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><p><strong>OK, here's chapter uno! I hope you guys liked it! There's a big twist next chapter...keep reading to find out! I hope to update soon! Please R&amp;R! <strong>

**-Maggie xx**


	2. 2

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I've been off for awhile...schools INSANE and I'm totally loaded with work...it sucks... But luckily, I found time to sit down and write the next chapter of this. It s somewhat inspired by a scene in my favorite TV show, "The Walking Dead" . I'll put a link to the video below, of you'd like to watch! :) Well, I think that's about it! I hope y'all enjoy, and reviews are always appreciated! :) **

**2.**

_Rose was in a haze. Alcohol was bliss at such boring social events, and the buzz and excitement of the bitter poison that hung in her mind was paradise to her. _

_At the end of the evening, she ran into, Cal, her undesired fiancé, and he swooped her upstairs to her room after the long evening. She giggled and laughed stupidly in her drunken stupor , and Cal saw his chance and took it. _

_He fed her the passion she wanted so badly, and soon, she was lying, undressed, on her bed. _

_Everything after was a blur of bliss and estacy. She didn't remember everything, but she did know that Cal's hands went exactly where she wanted them. It was sensational. She melted many times in his arms. But when she awoke the next morning, she was alone. Dressed in her white, crisp nightgown. Had it all been a dream? _

_But then she moved._

_Pain shot through her body. _

_She looked down. _

_The red stain of the remains of her innocence beneath her contrasted with all the white. _

_A single tear rolled down her porcelain cheek. _

_How had she been such a fool? _

Rose awoke in a feverish sweat. She had been having a nightmare. The worst one. All the dreams with Cal were bad ones.

They had started after the sinking, but she had gotten used to them, and she no longer screeched throughout the dark hopelessness for help that wouldn't come. She had learned to keep her demons to herself. Hidden.

It was dark all around her except the moonlight cascading in through the large, French doors in front of the large bed she was lying in.

As she tried to calm herself, she saw a silhouette in the doorway of the adjoining room.

She cringed.

_Cal._

She took a deep breath and propped herself up on her pillows.

Cal walked towards her bed, the moonlight hitting his handsome face, highlighting his masculine features. His dark eyes were cold, and his intense glare on her felt like ice was cutting through her very limbs. He spat at her with malice, "I see that you're awake..." Rose nodded curtly and before she even had the chance to thin of a reply, Cal cut in sharply, "Before you thinko getting too comfortable, I'd suggest you figure out where you're headed after this. Because no way in God's name am i letting you stay here, you selfish-"

"This child is your's."

It left Rose's mouth in four, short, simple words...

But to her it felt like so much more.

Cal's eyes narrowed until they were just two, black slits in his face. He scoffed and laughed darkly. "Don't you _dare _say that...I know you just want my money, you worthless slut..that _thing _growing inside of you is NOT mine...it's from that filth that you adored so much." He took a moment to flash a dark smirk at her, then continued, mockingly, "Your precious, Jack Dawson..."

Rose felt tears brimming the edge of her green eyes. But she blinked them back before they could fall down her porcelain cheeks.

She wouldn't cry.

Not in front of Cal.

That was what he wanted, after all...

She just murmured back silently, as if scared of her own voice, " You're wrong...Don't you remember when you used me?" She paused and took a glance at Cal's face. It was contorted with rage and confusion. It fit him a bit too well. She continued, her voice rising with emotion, and threatening to crack, "How you took advantage of me? Used me for your own pleasure when I clearly had no orientation or direction?"

Cal's eyes narrowed even more, and he spoke in surprisingly soft voice, his tongue a dagger, "Well...you did seem to enjoy it , you little, slut..."

Rose flinched, but only slightly.

Cal frowned. And after a long silence, he asked icily, "Why are you even here? I thought you were dead..." His voice stayed calm, "You hid from me and let the guilt of what I did to you eat me whole..."

His voice began to rise.

"Now you expect me to take you into my home and raise this- this bastard? Play the hero, eh?...Because I won't, Rose...That's not what you deserve..."

He glared straight at Rose, his eyes b;lazing.

He asked again, this time slower, trying to keep his building anger at bay, "Why are you here...Rose?"

Rose gazed at him with a forlorn, lost look glazed in her eyes. She whispered hoarsely, "I just wanted you to know you're a father...' Her voice echoed through the large room for a second, and then she continued, shriller, shaking with emotion, "God forbid you let anyone get too close to you, Cal..."

Cal scoffed and shook his head.

Then, just like a grenade, he exploded, 'Too close..Too close, HUH? You know all about that, you lost your stupid boyfriend, and you can't even shed a tear! All you do is come crawling back to me =, hoping you drown your sorrows in the comfort of my wealth, acting like that dumb trash never existed!"

Rose was caught off guard and for a second, there was a glint of anger in her eyes...but then it was gone, just as soon as it came. She took a deep breath.

"I just want my child, _our _child, to grow up safe and happy...I want it to live the life it was born into, the life it deserves..."

Cal snapped, "You lost that privilege when you went off with Dawson..."

Rose gazed back at him, pleadingly. She whispered, desperately, "Please..."

Cal smirked darkly, and in the end, he found himself agreeing to let her stay...

He left her, murmuring under his breath, "You're so pathetic..."

So much for trying to forget...

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><p><strong>Well, I hope you guys enjoyed! Hope to have the next chapter up soon! Reviews are always welcome! :)<strong>


	3. 3

**A/N: Hey everyone! So it looks like this update came quicker than expected! :D I was really eager to write this, and I hope y'all enjoy! Reviews are always welcome! :) **

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><p><strong>3.<strong>

The weeks that followed were dark and lonely.

Rose stayed locked up in her room, and in the library, and only came out when she was certain Cal wasn't home.

She rarely ever saw him.

She didn't take meals with him, and when he was home, he was shut up in his study, either working or drowning his misery in alcohol. But she would occasionally see him through a crack in a doorway or walking down the halls. But he coolly disregarded her, treating her as if she were a ghost...as if she were still "dead".

Rose eventually saw her mother again. Ruth thought it was an absolute miracle that her "precious" daughter had returned home. She claimed Cal a "hero" for bringing her back to her rightful place in society so the wedding could continue. She had already thought Cal a "saint"...even when Rose would come home from seeing him in the early days of their engagement with black and blue bruises all over her body...

There was no way Rose would be able to get out of this now...

xxx

Cal never saw Rose.

It was like she had never come back.

He often asked himself if she really wanted to be here... She was always shut up in her room, or rarely-rarely-in the library, reading silently.

Sometimes, when he saw her there, he would stand outside the door, quietly peering at her, wondering what was going inside that pretty, little mind... But she never looked at him, or even acknowledged his presence. She never called out to him and asked what he was doing, why he was staring at her pale, sickly face for long periods of time...

To her, he was nothing.

She never ate with him, and Cal began to wonder if she even ate at all...

_And she'd come to him to keep this child "safe"_...

He'd just smirk to himself at the thought.

Soon, Ruth had come to visit, to see her daughter, back from the "dead"... She had sobbed and embraced Rose with tears of joy streaming down her elegantly aged face. Hugging Rose lovingly, she would tell her how the wedding would continue. Rose just stood there, unfeeling.

Cal had scoffed.

How he longed to still have a mother...

_God, she was so ungrateful..._

xxx

Eventually, the day of the wedding arrived. As rushed as all the preparations had been, everything looked like it had come straight from royalty.

Rose was dressed in an elaborate lace gown, with a fragile lace veil to match, along with her corset tied tightly underneath.

Cal wouldn't dare let society know their little "secret"...

She tried her best to breathe, but it was nearly impossible. She wouldn't be surprised if she fainted...or lost the baby...

She heard her mother call her from downstairs to come to the car. The car that would take her to the church-where her life would change forever. She sighed and took one last glance at her reflection, hurrying away from the ghost girl staring back at her with hollow eyes.

xxx

The ceremony was a blur.

To Cal, the overpowering smell of roses gave him a headache, and the music was too loud.

And when he saw Rose walking somberly down the aisle towards him, he swear he saw tears slip down her delicate veil.

To everyone else, they were tears of joy.

Only he knew the truth.

The rest of the ceremony was insignificant. Vows and meaningless promises at happiness were just said to be broken. And when the priest announced, "I now pronounce you Man and Wife, you may kiss the bride..." Cal barely brushed Rose's lips in a cold, unfeeling kiss.

They broke away, and Cal looked into Rose's icy eyes. She wasn't happy. She never would be. But neither would he.

This marriage was one of convenience. They were just using each other. Using each other to try to find the slightest bit of light in their dark, disparaging souls...

And what had to be done was done.

xxx

The reception was just like the ceremony.

Rose had spit out stories of her "disorientation", and the guests gobbled it up as if it were a five-star meal at the Ritz. She numbly mumbled thanks to everyone, coldly hugging each one, with her priceless smile plastered on her face.

But as soon as the last guest had left, Rose hurried back up the stairs to her room, eager to once, be alone again...

Cal didn't stop her.

When she reached her room, she shut the door, and made her way to her bathroom. She leaned against the shut door for a second, taking deep breaths, trying to calm her buzzing mind. She undressed and slipped into her nightgown, leaving her wedding dress crumpled on the floor.

Rose took a seat at her vanity. She noticed she didn't look well. She hadn't for weeks. She looked so much older than she really was...Her cheeks hollow and her eyes grey, without that "fire" Jack had once tried so hard to save...

She brushed her dry, lifeless curls, and she looked at the gold wedding band sitting on her finger.

She was now Mrs. Caledon Hockley.

She sighed and hastily took it off, as if it was weighing her broken soul down even more. She sighed again and she left the bathroom. When she emerged, she looked at her bed.

Her cold, empty bed...

She didn't want to be intimate with Cal...it was just that she felt...lonely...

She just wanted someone. Someone to hold her and tell her it would be all okay. Even if it had to be her husband.

But Rose knew the truth. The cold, hard truth. This world wasn't a damn fairytale. And she wasn't some princess.

She sat down on the bed, tracing her fingers on the designs on the blankets.

Then something just...snapped.

She fell onto her pillows, sobbing.

She realized she hadn't really cried at all since she had come back to Cal... Now she was letting it all out.

She cried for the longest time. To her, it was an infinity. She just let all of her feelings roll down her cheeks and soak into her silk pillowcase. Her delicate body racked with sobs, and soon, her ribs were sore.

When her cries were barely a whimper, she turned on her side, hugging her knees to her chest...trying to bring herself the slightest bit of comfort. She had tun out of tears long ago, and how, she felt empty, hollow...

She heard a slight knock and called out, "Come in..." Even though she knew who it was...

Cal slipped in silently, closing the heavy door behind him.

Rose didn't move.

Cal walked over to where she was on the bed and sighed, "God Rose...you're so pathetic...it's almost revolting..." Rose looked up at him innocently, sniffling. She asked quietly, "What?"

Cal glanced back down at his wife, scoffing and flashing her his "signature" smirk... He continued, "Look at you...you're sitting here, crying over a choice that YOU made...YOU decided to come back..." He paused, his voice softening, "I know you aren't happy, but neither am I...so...we might as well make the best of this..."

Rose murmured, "You just don't understand..."

Cal chuckled darkly. Rose spat at him before he could reply, "You've never given me what I really want...NEVER..."

Cal smirked. "And what is it that you want, my dear?" "Something you can never give me...love..."

Another chuckle.

"My darling, Rose..."love" as you call it...does not exist. It was created by some desperate woman, such as yourself, so she could feel something..." His voice rose. "So, I suggest you forget the silly idea of such a fantasy and come back to reality. Because I don't need a lunatic for a wife..."

He took one last glance at her dishelved form, and turned away from her. Before he left the room, he called out, "Sweet dreams..."

Rose was once again in tears the moment he shut the door back behind him.

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><p><strong>So, I hope all of you enjoyed! I kinda improvised the ending...Sorry if it was bad! :P Again, please review! They mean a lot! :) <strong>


	4. 4

**A/N: Hello everyone! So here's a quick, little update! This is just total randomness...no clue what any of this is to be completely hoest with y'all..I just write little, dark scenes, and eventually, I hope they will all come together to make something of a story! Also, I have started revising that last chapter of 'Demons'...I hated when I had originally published it, and I hope to re-publish soon. Sorry , I know it's been like 2 months...I'm terrible...Anyway, enjoy this small chapter if brain vomit! Review = cookie...;)**

**4.**

The next morning, in place of no tears, Rose had a throbbing headache. She sat up groggily, wiping her red and swollen eyes with her palm. She had wept the whole night, drowning in her helpless, empty loneliness.

_Love was just created by some desperate woman, such as yourself, so she could feel something..._

She slowly made her way to her bathroom, and suddenly, she was dizzy and her mouth was like sandpaper. She barely made it to the sink before she began to vomit. She was surprised there was even enough in her stomach for her to be getting sick the way she was...

Her head was still spinning. She was sweaty and cold.

Wasn't she already miserable enough?

She stopped for a second to rinse the contents of her stomach down the drain when she looked up slightly and saw Cal leaning against the doorframe...his ever pleasant smirk plastered on his face.

She was going to snap at him, but instead of words coming out of her mouth, more vomit.

Cal didn't move.

He stayed right where he was, his cold, calculating eyes watching her as if it was the most entertaining thing he'd ever seen. And of course, he didn't come to comfort her or ask her if there was anything she needed. Caledon Hockley didn't care about anyone but himself.

Eventually, the vomiting was through and Rose collapsed, exhausted. She curled into herself and she moved her icy eyes up to Cal's very much amused face. She seethed, "You did this to me..._you_...I never asked for this, I don't deserve this..."

Cal just tutted. The dark, hollow sound rang in between their silence, making Rose shiver. "My dear, you should've seen yourself...throwing yourself on me, begging me for the slightest bit of pleasure to feed your hollow soul...pathetic..." He stopped for a second to step into the bathroom, only inches from where Rose was curled on the floor. He continued, he voice dripping with mockery, "You see, I would've stopped...but I just felt...bad...for you...you just wanted to desperately _feel_ something, and that, is exactly, what I gave you..." Rose didn't believe what she heard. "I'm no slut, Cal, I-" Cal cut her off with his laughter. Dark, cold laughter that would chill anyone straight to their bones. He held his stomach to keep himself from falling because he was cackling so loud. He managed to get in between breaths, "_You? Not _a slut?! This is coming from the naïve, little girl who ran off with a hobo after knowing him only two days..._two_..."

Then, all traces of the previous laughter was gone from his face, and he was unreadable.

He crouched down to Rose's level and he took her face in his hands, squeezing tightly. Rose tried to get away desperately, but his grip was like steel. Unbreakable. He brought his face so close to her she could smell the cigarette smoke on his tongue. He cocked his head and there was a small smile tugging at his lips. He whispered softly, but his voice was intimidating enough so Rose knew his motives, "So, I kinda think you _do _deserve this..." Then he flashed her a smirk, and released her, walking off without anything else said.

Rose tried to control it. But she couldn't, and she let her tears spill down her cheeks. How was it that Cal could just look at her and she would be reduced to nothing but a sniffling child? She was once so strong...She had been so sure that she would be free...That she would have wings to fly...

What had happened?

_Unimaginable bastard..._

xx

"You mean to tell me that Rose, your wife, is pregnant?! Already?!" Nathaniel Hockley roared at his only son. Cal flinched. But only slightly, he wouldn't let his father ever know his true fear for him...Instead, he smirked and shook his head, "Father, I can assure you everything's fine, let me-'" He was cut off by a sharp pain in his jaw. He staggered back, trying to regain his balance while trying to figure out what had just happened.

His father had punched him.

He brought his hand to his lip and when he brought it away, there was a crimson stain on his fingers. Blood. Nothing new.

Cal looked up and it was his father who was smirking now, not him. He snarled, 'That'll teach you to stay in your place...you always seemed to have issues with that..." He smiled darkly, and continued, "This isn't a funny matter, Caledon...Do you want there to be a scandal on your hands? People are already beginning to talk..." Cal bit back the urge to scoff. He didn't need a black eye too...

"This child is mine, Father..."

This made Nathan look up.

Cal actually wondered, if for once, he was actually noticing _him_...

Bullshit.

He just spat back, "So you got her pregnant _before _marriage?!" He squinted his identical, black eyes at Cal and seethed angrily, "You stupid boy...all you've ever done is shame this family...you've never done anything good in your miserable life, and you probably never will...A pathetic excuse for a son...that's all you are, Caledon..I'm done with you..." He stormed past him, and before he slammed the study door shut behind him, he called, "It better be a boy..."

Then Cal swore he heard him mutter under his breath, "Hopefully, he'll be less of a disappointment than you..."

xx

Dinner was quiet. The silent tension between them felt suffocating.

Rose had noticed the big, purple bruise on Cal's bottom lip. She tried to restrain herself from making a comment, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't contain herself. She said as softly and tenderly as she could, "Cal, is there something wrong with your lip?"

He moved his dark eyes up from the rim of his wine glass and Rose regretted saying anything.

She missed the comforting blanket of silence that had been there only seconds before.

She knew Cal had a rough relationship with his father...And she knew he had probably done this to him...

Why the hell had she asked?

He would just deny it...just like all the times before when he would come home late from a business meeting with a black eye...

_It's just an accident..._

Cal just chuckled and rubbed his lip slightly. He flinched. He looked up to see if Rose had noticed. She had.

He responded to her cooly, "Darling, I'm fine...since when do you care?" "I've always cared..." "Bullshit..."

Rose sighed. She didn't want to fight tonight...she wouldn't win...

So, she looked Cal straight in the eye and said quietly before she swished her skirts and dissapered upstairs for the evening, "And _I _don't let anyone get too close..."

Before she was out of hearing range, Cal shouted after her, "Stop pretneding!"

He didn't see her for days.

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><p><strong>So, I hope you all enjoyed! I am gonna take a break with this...I seriously need to update "Demons"...But, I am definitley not giving up! I just need to switch gears for a while! Reviews are appreciated, and see y'all soon! <strong>


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